My Life Problems of Procrastination

WARNING: It's kind of long.

This night, I was playing Resident Evil 5 with Cram online. However, I have a bad wireless connection so I disconnect a lot. I had an awesome idea to move the modem into my room. When I asked my family, they all refused. That's the weird part. Knowing my family, they wouldn't mind this sort of thing. When my older sister left to pick up my younger sister at the school, my mom started talking about how I have a horrible life pattern. She first stated that besides school and work, I always sit in front of my television screen. She then started complaining that all the teens could go straight to college but I can't.

Now understand that I have a bad GPA of 2.5. I planned to goto Pasadena City College to catch up on my two years of school materials and then transfer to University Santa Cruz for a master's degree. My mom now believes that even that's impossible. She then goes saying that I'm like my very lazy father who does not want to pay child support. She reminded me that I still don't know how to drive. I wanted to bike to work by living near my career but she said I need to go shopping and business meetings, to a point when I need a car. She is just sick of telling me that I need to study for the past seven years. She then goes again reminding me of my dad. I even complained that my father is not here anymore.

I don't know, guys. I'm not even sure what to do anymore. I plan to "go with the flow" by learning how to drive, getting a real part time job, and applying for PCC soon. Someone needs to open a class on how to apply to college or something, because no one bothered telling me what I should do. I would have taken the SAT if I knew when I was supposed to apply. I digress, but you're probably thinking that I should blame myself. Sure. Why not? It's not like nobody told you how to apply for college. Now that I think back, I wish I can try to take the SAT. However, I heard that on your Senior year, they won't allow you to apply.

You know? I wish my mom used to be that happy carefree mother that would always smile. Now I almost never see her smile of any of my "accomplishments". Hell, I can't even cry under my own house anymore without being scolded. Because of that, I've been suppressing my problems by looking on the bright side of life. I have no one to cry to. No one to truly understand me. No one to open up completely. You could say pride gets in the way.

Every day, I feel that my life is somehow always unfair when it comes to my family. I'm always being compared. It's like a broken record player replaying the same events, and an aging record disc is slowly changing the course of life. It's always the same arguments I always get. No matter how much time passes by, the same complaints always comes back no matter how many times I try to avoid it. I'm sick of it. Why can't my family ever talk about something that's not about my problems? Here I just walked over to my mom and say "How's the weather today" but she would go along the lines of "Why don't you ever study? You never educate yourself."

I know this rant is long enough as it is, but I'm just upset. I know in life that nothing ever goes your way. The question is, why? I would love to hear at least one or two of you guys about how to live like "a normal teenager applying for college". That's the thing. I'm not ready for living on my own, or paying for my own college fund. In fact, I don't have any. I really don't know how to continue my life after high school. I always have my life guided by everything, but I can't support myself. I'm very dependent. I'm waiting for fate to tell me what to do next. I hear nothing. I'm left to die. I have nothing to start me off for the life outside San Marino. I have no skill. What can I do that does not make me a pitiful homeless man? Especially in this economy? Alas, my answers are silent.I have yet to figure out what my next chapter in life will be. It's a funny theory, but it's like someone's writing my life as a story for an alternate universe reality show.

Alright I guess I should wrap this up. Of course at least one of you nincompoops would say "TL;DR" or "cool story, bro". That's fine. But this is what I really feel about my life. Thinking on it now, I don't know what to do next. Should I stop my current life and be a person I do not want to be, or should I continue my habit and see where it takes me? It's a mystery, but I'll see what happens next. If I spot anything, I'll jump in on the action and change the course.

Regarding the college issue, yeah, nobody told us how, and to be honest, most of us have no idea either. But, at your current rate, you may have to get a GED to apply to a university, and in college you'll have to take a lot of remedial classes.

As for me, I plan to go to PCC, perhaps a little bit of business school, and then, if I'm lucky, get a pilots license.

The drving thing, I'll have to agree with your mom. Even today, I am desperately trying to get a driver's license, but I'm having trouble. Why in the hell everyone else isn't, is my concern, but not my problem. My view is, "Let them walk, Imma drive!" Seriously though, you should at least get a driver's license.

Also, "Living like a normal teenager" isn't open to us. The fact that we play videogames competitively and additively make us abnormal, so throw that childish notion out the window. What I do, I look this crap up, and even then, I still have no fucking idea what is going on. Basically, the normal life is a sham. There are no magical teachers that make you learn about college, it just happens.

My view on the SAT issue, I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THE DAMN THING. Seriously. I learned that if you don't look for this stuff, YOU WILL NOT FIND IT. 'Nuff said.

Last piece of advice is, NEVER GO WITH THE FLOW. The flow will take you stright to the gutter. Fate is an angry bitch, and she will rip you a new one if you let her take control. Don't rely on luck regarding school either. It is said that "an amateur practices until he can get it right, a professional does it until he can't get it wrong." Work to be a professional. No person is born great, they are molded to that. Long story short, MOLD YOURSELF INTO A USEFUL PERSON. Take cues from other, don't be afraid to ask questions, and NEVER discount studying.

Okay, I tried taking a different turn for the good.

I signed up for collegeboard.com, which I found out that they are the ones hosting the SAT Tests. I also learned from my older sister who took the SAT that they only count your highest scores. She also said that you can take it as many time as you want. However, there is an insertion fee you must pay. I decide to go for the one on June 5th, the day after my birthday when I finally become a legal adult. I will be studying at Premier Academy for the SAT English and SAT Math on Saturdays starting next week.

If I get a successful GPA of 3 or higher from this test, then I can go over to UC Santa Cruz to become a Game Designer. Once I get that master's degree, I will probably head over to companies like Nintendo, Capcom, Namco, Aksys, or Valve. If I fail, however, then I will stick to my PCC plan by taking two years before transfering to UC Santa Cruz.

I will later on decide to learn how to drive, as soon as someone is willing to take me. Apparently there's a DMV located up on Rosemead Blvd. Now if someone can take me there so I can have an appointment.

This does not change the fact that I still work at Premier Academy on weekdays. It will be a difficult road, but damn it I really need to learn how to beat the teachings into myself. It won't be easy for my life, but it's now or never.

About college, if you go the PCC/transfer route you don't require SAT scores (for most of them, some really anal places will demand it but I don't think you're going to those).

2.5 isn't bad, could be better, but you just need a 3.0 at PCC to transfer to ANY UC. You read that right. Your highschool credits don't transfer to PCC either, so you don't have to worry about that, just do your placement right and you'll be fine. (It's mainly math and english).

The path to success isn't gauged by where you start, its where you finish.

As for driving, yes and no. Right now you don't need it, only office workers really need a job, also yes it is better to have more permits than none, but eh, take your time. Also do not go to the DMV in Pasadena, it is full of FAIL.

Don't let academics get you down, there's more than one way to swim in this ocean.